Saturday 25 July 2015

Open Communication 1





In my previous posts, I mentioned that I was chasing irrelevant things whilst ignoring baby’s years. Having said this, guilt plagued me to the core as I was working full time in a role I hated to the core. So to pacify myself, I used to bake exotic cakes weekly, do regular themed parties and shower her with expensive gifts. I was in denial of the void that existed in our lives.


Once in our nightly ritual chats with my dearest husband, I was trying to justify myself, “How many a mother actually do the above mentioned stuff despite working full time?” To which my paediatrician husband quietly replied “It doesn’t really matter what you do for the child, but having an open relation with the child nullifies everything you couldn’t do with her”. Although I completely didn’t understand what he meant, years later this line changed our lives forever.


We often come across some sweet people with certain qualities that embed into our heart straight away. We brush it off by believing it is the natural character and nothing else. As rightly pointed out by my close cousins, character is 5 % inherent and 95% parenting. It is always the actions of today that build a better tomorrow. Having said that the first vow I took was to make up for the lost time between my child and me. I was one of those crazy parents who wanted my children to be my best friends. I knew it was going to be hard work and lots of damage control.


The first discovery I made was, each time she did something positive, kneel down to her level, look into her eyes, just tell her you appreciate the act and thank her. 99.9% of the time you will notice a shine in their eye. A simple act I started with her was each time we did something together, I went up to her and told her it just made my day to spend those precious moments with her.


 Years later when I got pregnant with bub 2, I was not worth a dime due to severe morning sickness, ongoing complication, frequent hospital admissions and unescapable confinement to bed. Prior to this, I had prepped her to the constraints and unavoidable lifestyle changes that were bound to happen.  As there were no surprises, she took everything gracefully.


On one of our recent picnics during one of those days when I was able to lift myself out of the bed, off we went with a 10 day old fish curry, a week old rice and yogurt. We managed to have some good time in our own way. Upon returning, she came and told me in her tiny voice,” Mummy I actually enjoyed every minute with you and would have it no other way.”  I then thought of what my better half told me ages ago. Bless him!!

Chad



2 comments:

  1. Chad it's been wonderful readin up ur blog ..! I truly admire the way u have raised ur lil bub n yes open communication is indeed the key to a healthy relationship..!

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