Tuesday 25 October 2016

The beauty of uncertainty- Part 1

Dear Mol

Imagine you have booked in a much awaited suspense thriller movie weeks in advance. You find out the ending of the movie 10 minutes prior to the commencement of the movie. Would you be ecstatic or disappointed? You booked in for the movie to experience the suspense, to get some of that adrenaline pumping …to experience the uncertainty….
Mol , marriage is also a suspense thrilled, action packed drama. It is the reunion of 2 unique people full of beauties and abnormalities.. When you enter this enchanted world, teamed up with your better half, these are the teeny weeny stuff I wish to remind you.

  1. This is best gift nature has given you, which you will hold onto till the last breath of your life.
  2. Parents and children are additional characters in this stage only to test your balancing abilities and the strength of your marriage
  3. Cooking is not the inbuilt duty of the female and driving that of the male. You never know when you have to do the other ones duty. What if your other gets very ill or had to go away on an unavoidable trip? Would you starve?
  4. Just because you had children doesn’t mean your significant other can live without love and nurturance.  We humans are love hungry animals.
  5. Children feel most secure when their parents are in a harmonious relationship. Openly let them know your partner is the most important of all.
  6. It is ok to fight in front of your children once in a while provided you also have the guts to make up in front of them as well. They will learn that repentance and forgiveness are the best sign of courage.
  7. Remember this reunion is all teamwork. You don’t have to bear all the burden and stress alone. Share it and you will feel some of it evaporating. This will give you a better perspective of problem solving whilst building a stronger platform of trust, compassion and support.
  8. Practice gratitude. Be thankful for everything your partner does. Gratitude is the best way of prolonging happiness.
  9. Enjoy nurturing each other’s hobbies. You won’t believe the positive energy that is evolved with this simple act.
  10. Allow a “me time” for each other. Spending time in solitude is a way of appreciating each other’s presence.
  11. Do not put a date, time and expiry day for happiness. You don’t a big vacation once in two years to generate happiness. Enjoying a cuppa tea with each other in one’s own backyard can spice up life.
  12. Acknowledge each other’s perfections and imperfections. Sometimes it can be the imperfections that save the day.
  13. Remember there may be disagreements from time to time. It is because you are two beautiful people raised with different values and from different backgrounds.
  14. Learn each other’s favourite dishes. You won’t believe how much love is instantly produced.
  15. Never compare your lives with another couple. This is not a competition. This is just a step downhill. However you can learn a lot from people how to/not to deal with situations.
  16. Remember that the children you have are not your toys/pets. They are just a 20 year projects where you have to equip them with the skills to navigate through the world.
  17. The way you treat your parents will be the way your children will deal you. The way you treat your partner and children will be the way they treat theirs. Children are marvellous copycats.
  18. Marriage is not about the reunion of a master and a slave. At some stage whilst you try to exercise control, it will bring in resistance and unhappiness. It is like caging a butterfly. A butterfly’s beauty is felt is most when it allowed to fly freely among the flowers.
  19. Often one person will be the sensitive one and other the harder one. Life is merely teaching the harder one to think twice before spitting out and the sensitive one not to take everything to heart.
  20. The ability to forget is nature’s best blessing.  There will be lot of times you encounter challenging moments. These are just to teach you a lesson. Learn, acknowledge and forget it. Erasing from your mind is equivalent to removing the little rocks life has placed for you cleverly. You will not go far if you choose carry these burdens. It’s ok.


Money is not the tool for ultimate happiness and contentment, but merely a tool for material comforts. I would like to tell you a light hearted incident that happened in our family decades ago.

When one of my uncles got married, all the inquisitive relatives gathered around him to know how much dowry his wife had brought. Simply fed up, he called up for a meeting days after the wedding. This is what my gentlemanly uncle said “ She has brought in 51 kg of gold ( which was her body weight), but has strong chances of increasing as time goes by.”

Wishing you all the more  happiness,
Mummy