Lines of Communication- Positive Affirmation

Rewind to that chilly August 2006 winter night in Melbourne

 Anu and I were newly married and officially unemployed. Anu was busy preparing for his upcoming medical exams while I was doing a casual evening job in the city, besides completing my Masters. After work, I was rushing to catch the 9:30pm tram to our house. In that frantic rush, I lost my balance and went crashing on to the ground. Dazed and still there, I could feel people watching me, but no one came around. Finally someone picked me up and placed me in the tram. When I got home, my jeans was drenched in blood and Anu cleaned me up. I thought Anu would be angry for my clumsiness, but he surprised me the following night. The following  night , at the end of my shift, Anu and his books were patiently waiting outside my workplace  and that became a ritual.  Although the financial side was dim, we were content with each other. When he got his first job as a doctor, I was ecstatic and rang up mum. I informed her that we were moving from our humble studio to better premises with better facilities. This is when she gave me a piece of worldly wisdom “As the house get larger, so does the distance between the hearts”.

Life went predictably well until bub arrived in 2009 along with the big recession. Anu went into a stringent specialist training program while I was again officially out of work  with a bub this time.Stresses were high, expectations from each other soared, fights were intense and regular and tongues got sharper. Our relation saw new lows. I was truly overwhelmed with my new duties and my dreams took a backseat.

With Anu’s encouragement, I went on to do a research degree. But the scene in the home front hadn’t improved much. Chasing the research life made me realize, it was high time for damage control. Everything was everywhere.

Having a sharp memory of an elephant, I began to recollect our good old honeymoon days in Singapore. We met a Mexican couple married for 40 years. They fondly told us “Marriage is an institution where you have to put in a 100% every day , a couple of percentages down, it immediately goes in a different direction” Quite often with the arrival of bubs and changes in work priorities, marriage starts to become challenging. To fall in love is the easiest, to continue to be in love is the hardest.

Our in-house Juliet with longest and contented marriage aka my 85+ aged grandmother once told me “With love and respect that is so strong, nothing becomes impossible. Follow the 3As Accept, Appreciate and Apologize, there is a greater reason to smile in life”.

A simple and sincere thank you goes a long way when the other half does something for you. Becoming parents, we often deem ourselves to be the world's best advice machines on every matter under the roof. Actions speak louder than words. The way we conduct with each other often becomes a source of inspiration and imitation for our children rather than being a preaching box.

Loving Science as a student, I tend to compare life with chemistry. Iron and Carbon on their own are easily breakable. But combined together the right way, the resultant is an unbreakable metal called steel. Which reminds me of a standing joke between Anu and I. Sometimes I go and ask Anu for a favour, he retorts back jokingly “Do you need my help for everything?” To which I reply “If I could do everything myself, I would still be a single :) “

As someone once romantic said, “Walk alone, you can walk quickly; walk together, you can walk further.