Open Communication 1

In my previous posts, I mentioned that I was chasing irrelevant things whilst ignoring baby’s years. Having said this, guilt plagued me to the core as I was working full time in a role I hated to the core. So to pacify myself, I used to bake exotic cakes weekly, do regular themed parties and shower her with expensive gifts. I was in denial of the void that existed in our lives.

Once in our nightly ritual chats with my dearest husband, I was trying to justify myself, “How many a mother actually do the above mentioned stuff despite working full time?” To which my paediatrician husband quietly replied “It doesn’t really matter what you do for the child, but having an open relation with the child nullifies everything you couldn’t do with her”. Although I completely didn’t understand what he meant, years later this line changed our lives forever.

We often come across some sweet people with certain qualities that embed into our heart straight away. We brush it off by believing it is the natural character and nothing else. As rightly pointed out by my close cousins, character is 5 % inherent and 95% parenting. It is always the actions of today that build a better tomorrow. Having said that the first vow I took was to make up for the lost time between my child and me. I was one of those crazy parents who wanted my children to be my best friends. I knew it was going to be hard work and lots of damage control.

The first discovery I made was, each time she did something positive, kneel down to her level, look into her eyes, just tell her you appreciate the act and thank her. 99.9% of the time you will notice a shine in their eye. A simple act I started with her was each time we did something together, I went up to her and told her it just made my day to spend those precious moments with her.

 Years later when I got pregnant with bub 2, I was not worth a dime due to severe morning sickness, ongoing complication, frequent hospital admissions and unescapable confinement to bed. Prior to this, I had prepped her to the constraints and unavoidable lifestyle changes that were bound to happen.  As there were no surprises, she took everything gracefully.

On one of our recent picnics during one of those days when I was able to lift myself out of the bed, off we went with a 10 day old fish curry, a week old rice and yogurt. We managed to have some good time in our own way. Upon returning, she came and told me in her tiny voice,” Mummy I actually enjoyed every minute with you and would have it no other way.”  I then thought of what my better half told me ages ago. Bless him!!

Chad

Harmful or Helpful?

Peering into today's world, empathy and kindness are fast disappearing traits.

Seeing this post in Facebook, depresses me.

I am not trying to sound as a feminist here but reality is that, this is highly toxic. In yesteryears and in today’s world to some extent, the most desired quality for a wife is to be the “sacrificial scapegoat”.

I have known many a woman when are sick to the core, hide from their loved ones and continue to perform the wife and mother’s “Expected statement of duties” with a smile cringing with pain inside. The rest of the family members label her as a “superhuman”, “backbone of the family” and take her for granted over time as well as become more than ever dependent over her. But how long does this actually last? It may be possible in a case of flu but not for cancer.

Girls, take rest and look after yourselves first. You are saving your families from a greater risk. Isn’t it that is exactly told to you by the airs hostess before flight take-off? In case of an emergency attend to yourself first and then the others. If you are falling sick, just say you are and hand over the inevitable home duties to others. It is not possible to live a fairy tale all the time.

Forgive me for being cynical. This phase is great for other members of the family as well. It is a reality check where other members are being equipped to face emergency situations with pluck, courage and most importantly empathy and consideration. In effect you are increasing the skill set of your loved ones.

People, as we join new work/team, we are issued with a statement of duties. What makes the team efficient and productive? It is when the team members cheerfully help out each other at the time of crisis and steer the boat smoothly during rough weather.

Isn’t family the same in reality?

Shoot me your thoughts.

Love Chad

To know the good sometimes you need to experience the bad

For many of us, life has been a smooth journey upto a certain point without any humps and bumps. People like me started to take life for granted.

Ever since my graduation, I wanted to pursue PhD only to get a 'Doctor' in front of name. My Family was very supportive as I proved to be outstanding in my post graduate degree in Oz. I pushed myself beyond limits and achieved results I always dreamt of. But this was before she arrived into our little world. She being an adjusting bub gave me the wrong impression life was always predictable and doable as before.

I considered myself the luckiest upon being selected into the nation's most prestigious research group which was internationally acclaimed for its "Results" and extraordinary people. But I failed to realize I was doing two full time jobs with limited support- One as a Baby's mother and other as a researcher. Like the others I became "result driven" and didn’t enjoy the baby's growing years. In the mean time I was subjected to office bullying and began to detest everyone in general. My sole aim was to start afresh again. I became bitter and blamed everyone for everything.

Again to know the beauty of light, I learnt the miseries of dark. After a couple of gruelling months, I saw light. To move life in a positive way, count on your blessings and not your follies. Never compare your life with others as you are witnessing only a small spectrum of their life. Sometimes some things may be right in front of you that you overlook them. Live amidst people who appreciate you than chasing dreams and people that no longer mean a damn. Small moments indeed draw the big picture. Let go of the negative elements in your life. It is always the happy memories that count in your older years.
Plan it!! Create it!!And most of all enjoy it!!!

The present is indeed a present. Take it and treat it that way!!

Being wary of the past makes you bitter, It is like driving a car looking at the rear mirror only.

 Worrying about the future only makes you anxious. It is like driving the car looking at the GPS.

But driving the car and enjoying nature's beauty is enjoying the beautiful PRESENT.

Face Value

As many an immigrant, when I landed on the shores of Ozzie land, a wave of emotions swept past me upon seeing pretty displays in the shops. I was always thrilled when I struck upon a good bargain. Until once I saw a dress at a reduced price. Immediately I wanted to own it and rushed to the store to buy it. The following week,  as I was strolling past the same shop, to my utter amazement, the dress was reduced to half the price of the previous week...This was when I realized face value of anything was different in reality.


When I lived with my parents , everything was rosy and people actually meant what they said...When I moved out,I began to realize that actual words and promises were limited to  my parents house. When elections come, we hear politicians giving away a lot of free promises which we discard on the spot. We don't brood about it as all their actions are expected. We are only flabbergasted when they actually do something which was promised...

At this instance I would like to share an incident with you. One day one of my neighbours called me to let me know she was starting a biryani catering venture and wanted me to spread the word. As my daughters birthday came closer, I called her to ask whether she was still running the business. So I requested her to give me the price quote and she told me she would get back to me. That was the last time I heard from her....

This was when I remembered the famous story running in our family for generations. It was called the 'lunch at the neighbours house'.

A father in his deathbed told his son " There is a lunch waiting for you next door. Never lose it". The son took the father's wish to heart. The next time the neighbour saw him , he was offered lunch. Without giving a moment's thought, the son went and had lunch. Ever since the neighbour never invited him for lunch.

Recently the same neighbour saw mom and me strolling around. She immediately invited us for lunch and mom smiled at me knowingly:)

Renewing relations

Its been a really long time since I did blogging. One of the many reasons was that too many things were happening. It is not wrong to say I was overwhelmed and did face a writers block. Until a  friend gently nudged the other day which was when I realised I was absent for a considerable period.

2013 has been a year with a lot of incidents....some good and some bad. But in a way after practicing Reiki, I learnt a lesson from each event.

Relations never die. They either become good or bad or come to a hiatus over the years. In fact making a friend is easy. Renewing them is the effort making part.  Earlier this year I visited UK for an International Conference. I met my dearest classmate after 13 years. As soon as she heard I was on my way, she extended her warm hospitality. I was apprehensive upon the prospect of staying with her..but as soon as we saw each other it was like we had parted for 13 months...What a great feeling!! I would definitely classify it as those memorable life instances. In fact I always get the same feeling when I'm in India visiting people.  I love and enjoy being with people who make me happy.

At this point I would like us to think about our teachers. I am pretty sure that all of you must have had a favourite teacher or tuition teacher.  They say a teachers profession is one of the most fulfilling profession. Not really... In the event of imparting knowledge, it is true . But when it comes to a later life when all students are gone, it is a different story. As a teacher myself and from other teachers, it is a sad note to point that many an ex student turn their face away when they encounter the teacher on the road. When I visit my favourite teachers in India, all say the same. Everyone has forgotten them. Dear friends, next time you are in your home town, try to visit at least one teacher...

At this instance I would like to share a nasty prank some students played on our teacher. On teachers day 2013, one of my school mates posted a statement on Facebook that a popular language teacher passed away. I felt sad at the loss of the teacher. Later this year when I was in India I visited one of my favourite teacher S. Over our yearly ritual lunch I expressed my sorrow about the demised teacher.
There was a surprised silence and then she started laughing...Why so? The so called demised teacher visited her home two weeks ago!!! Imagine that poor teachers reaction as she was in FB and people are posting a RIP comment!!

 

Made in heaven …really?

Let me start with an incident from those difficult teenage years… I think I was in my seventh semester in Engineering.  One of dad’s professors had come to visit. While saying goodbye to grandma, it struck him that I was reaching a marriageable age and that he had someone in mind.  Upon hearing this quick proposal, I huffed and fumed and went in banging the door….

For me marriage meant being locked in the four corners of the wall, being a home nurse to your in laws, a maid to do all the housework, a carrier of babies and teary life in general….A sneak peak into our society and too much of watching the Malayalam soaps with Grandma…I simply hated the concept of marriage and did not want to leave my parents’ home too…

But somewhere deep inside I always yearned to have a life that my grandparents led. They bypassed all the traditional rules to have a successful married life and enjoyed the most beautiful moments ever. Grandma, born in 1929 in Iran was raised in a modern urban family where women were empowered, educated and allowed to think for themselves. She graduated from a co-ed university with a bachelor in Maths.

Grandad on the other hand was born into an agricultural family where education had no importance. In fact there were no basic facilities in his house like electricity, gas or even a toilet. Women in his area had to relieve themselves in the fields before sunrise or sunset. They were not allowed to eat in the dining table with the men rather, eat after them on the floor in the kitchen. Grandad was a great student in school, who graduated from high school with the highest mark. But his family could not afford his education and expected him to join the family occupation. Grandad had other plans and soon set out to Persia where he met his future father in law and the rest was history..

The wedding between Granddad and Grandma was seen with pure speculation. There were no similarities between them. My city bred grandma was in for a lot of surprises as she was given an idea about the set up at grandpa’s home. My grandpa foresaw the situation and built the first bath attached toilet for grandma in that village which actually won her heart. He did not force her to live there till he took her to the Gulf.

 They shared a beautiful ritual together .Every Friday, it was a holiday in the gulf. In the mornings, Grandpa would go to the Friday meat market for a leg of the lamb. He brought it home , and boned and cut it for his favourite mutton varattiyathu. She cooked it and then he took her for a Hindi picture that evening in the thirty years they lived there despite the fact he hated movies and she loved movies. My grandpa was a lover of good life, food and enjoyment. They were together every single day of their married life. She cooked her heart out and he ate it with love and delight. Grandma loved him so much she used to tell me that its better Grandpa leaves first as she would be able to adjust he won’t….That’s love….

The day he left this world, for the funeral traditionally, the body is kept on the floor. She couldn’t bear him in that situation. She had their bed moved into the living room and had him placed there. She was in the sofa; hugging him…It was one of those moments of loss …and pure realizations…

Marriages are indeed made in heaven….Marriage is a union of two different human beings that come close together for love. Compassion, respect and care and babies are pure synonyms …When there is love, all the difficulties in life are diffused. Love bypasses it all. Love becomes so strong that you want see more of that and then the babies come along. Genuine respect for each other is a sign of love. Their education and familial differences were not a reason for their love. They were the biggest support for each other in the real times of distress. When there is love, all the sickness is cared with love and nothing becomes a difficulty. All the distresses vanishes when the support comes from the person you and loves blooms in a way you couldn’t imagineJ

dearest achacha, ammama and me on my naming ceremony

In fact my grandma still holds him close to her heart. On one of my visits to India, I asked her whether I could have a look at her recipe book in which she compiled grandpa's favourite recipes. She went  to her little safe and fished out the book for me. I browsed for a while and casually kept the book aside hoping she would offer it to me. After a while she says “if you have finished it, let me keep it back in my safe “despite the fact she has not cooked in years…Cheeky AmmamaJ

Living in the present

Of recent , many loved ones have been leaving us behind embracing eternity. My Grandmother's sister Saraswathi Ammama passed away yesterday. Ammama was  always the different from her siblings from the time she entered the earthly world. Unlike her siblings born in Iran, she was the only one born in India in 1930. She excelled in studies being the first of her school in both year 10 and 12. Her fervent patriotism made her take part in the freedom struggle march despite our great grandmother's disapproval. Our great grand dad , bless him believed the empowerment in women allowing her to pursue her dream to study. Ammama was the only one in her entire generation to complete a postgraduate degree in Sanskrit, economics and Law from the prestigious Benares Hindu University.  Her philanthropic nature was the reason for choosing a teacher's path rather than the legal path.  Ammama always saw the goodness in people. She had a powerful aura around her.
Ammama was a wealth of knowledge. She was our encyclopedia of stories. I cant even remeber even one time where she refused to tell us stories however tired she was. My cousins and I loved to have friendly debates with her regarding the mythical charecters of Mahabharata and Ramayana. Let me share  one such incident.
In my childhood , I always thought Lord Rama's step mother Kaikeyi was a wicked lady and was the root cause of all the trouble  Rama faced. But according to Ammama, Kaikeyi was a good lady and was made to become jealous of Rama so that he goes off to Lanka to kill the evil king Ravana...All happened for a cause was Ammama's reasoning.I was the only grandchild who was fortunate to hear her beautiful stories when I was pregnant..
Health was never one of her strong points.  Ammama  opted not to marry as she felt she could not do justice to her partner due to her erratic health.Ammama , I'm told has scared everyone quite a number of times.  Two years ago Ammama encountered a disaster similar to our veteran actor Sukumari. Ammama was in deep prayer when her sari caught on fire. She endured pain which cannot be explained in anyway. She recovered...As always when I am in India, I make sure I spend time with her. Eight months ago when I visited last, we were the last to sit down and have a meal with her , few hours after which she had a stroke and went into a coma...It was so painful for her and others around her,....She breathed her last yesterday. Ammama lived to the true meaning of her name Saraswathi- Goddess of Knowledge, Rest in Peace.......

Death is a painful situation. Rather than grieving about it , it is so vital that we enjoy people when they are around.The ability to live in the present is a gift.....I am still learning that... I was a person who lived in the past, caring the least about the present and anxious of the future...What good does that do other than brooding and worrying.  Being  mom to Ammu made me look back at my attitude.  When she came into our life, we were always anxious about the next stage....Currently we were going though the stage where she totally admire us...Enjoy to the fullest has become our motto...

Life is like a game. It throws us balls of opportunities to tap our potentials and joys in the forms of people and moments...Grab it, enjoy it and cherish it when it is in your court....

Love
Chad

connections

Death is an event which evokes a sea of emotions. Dear Granddad passed away yesterday.My heart ached for my Grandma who broke down over the phone confiding she lost her playmate for life, whom she squabbled with, scolded, cared for and most of the all lover of all her cooking. Everyone used to feel dear Grandma was strange ..even at the age of 77 she used to watch the afternoon cookery show and cook the same dish for
Grandpa every evening...When my dear better half witnessed this daily ritual, he was so impressed...He simply said it was the sheer love for each other,..her love for cooking her heart out and his adoring way of eating that....

Granddad, Dad, Mom, Grandma,Great Grandma and me on my 56th day

 Although I felt I was not close to them  or the best at keeping contact as I was to my paternal grandparents, I felt a deep sense of loss...One of the nicest memories of good food was always from Grandma's home. Mom always teased me" Even though Chad does not remember what she was doing 15 minutes back, she remembers food , its taste,looks and where she had it from the day she was born....I can confirm she has hit the nail on the head....Let me share my lovely memories with Grandma.. A good 27 years ago, like grandma I hated the late afternoon siestas... Grandma was making Kerala mixture with our maid Omana in the backyard. She was making the noodles with the traditional Noodle maker. I still remember the taste...and then later on adding the lovely seasoning to make the final scrumptious snack...

Years later, I used to feel nostalgic  and wanted to recreate the beautiful dishes which enticed my taste buds...I gathered the recipes and started recreating the smells and tastes which were a part of my grandparents home to delight my baby and Anu...For me ,it was more of a reconnection of the past, the continuation of tradition ....Although we had seldom telephone conversations, the  food she made for me and my earnest attempts to create the same for my baby had kept the relation everlasting...

Dearest friends, many of you must encountered the painful parting of a loved one. Many of us must have wished it would have been great if our children could meet them before they died...There were countless times I wished Anu and Ammu  knew my paternal granddad who left us 20 years ago...But recreating the traditions  and rituals have made them feel he is still with us....It is these traditions which connects our ancestors with our descendants...Festivals, events and food are a witness to this...What do you say?

Love Chad

Dating the better half

In our carefree days, Anu and I were often bombarded with queries as ‘So when is the good news?’…..`When do we get to see Tiny Toes’..…Madi Enjoymentu.... Time to start family’…

On a rainy October morning, Ammu arrived. She changed our focus in life. We were now known as Ammu’s Dad and Mom rather than Anu and Chandni. Like every parent, we started having no time at all.

This is when I would like to share an interesting experience with you.. We were frequent visitors to a family in Sydney. There were three absolute gorgeous children and the parents were one of the most dedicated and loving parents ever. We often pondered upon the thought ‘what would it be like after having more children..Would we even have time to sneak a glance at each other? Not very exciting thoughts :(

During one visit, the father of the three children put in this unusual question to Anu “When was the last time you took her out?”

Anu Replied “Every week “

He rephrased the question “When was the last time you went out as a couple?”

Anu had no answer.

Upon Ammu’s arrival our relation had changed overnight.  The routine each day was just feeding, changing nappies, bathing, putting her to bed and taking her to childcare besides work. Our temperaments were challenged. We began to squabble with each other on the silliest matters. In fact we were being a little impatient with the Bub as well. This was not doing any good as a parent and as an individual.

Anu suggested that he will take me out on a ‘date’ one weekday afternoon. We both took a day off and dropped bubby at the day-care early. He took me out to the movies and a great restaurant in the harbour soon after…It was just great and in fact so rejuvenating…. We took a resolution that we would be dating each other once every month from now on…

Dear Friends, although we feel we have accustomed to being parents, somewhere deep inside many of us wish to spend a little time alone with our better halves….This becomes a turning point in your life especially when you are the sole carer with no support at all…It is a great reminder why you are together in first place and was one of the reasons why you created a whole new world of babies…It makes parenthood all the more endearing and enchanting….

Shoot me your thoughts…

Love

Chad

Presentation

[1]

Going back to the nostalgic days of birthdays, have you wondered what was it that made it simply  endearing, appealing and simply memorable? Wasn't it wearing the new birthday dress, cutting your favorite flavoured cake and most of all the day itself? What was it that made it so different? Is'nt the appearance or rather the presentation?

When we go back to our interview days,  one of the criteriera for the interview is the way we present ourselves... As we go up the career ladders, hallmarking our progress is again the way we  showcase our work...The way we dress becomes our personality...

Dear friends , this is not highlighting our careers, rather a realization I had when I became a parent to Little Miss Sunshine. Many of the ordinary things can be made extra ordinary only though presentaion. As many young growing families, finance was a constraint when we were on a single income. Our visits were more frequent to Aldi the discount grocery store than the premium store. But  the excitement the better half and I displayed instilled absolute thrill in her. As any toddler of her age, she had many a demand when we go shopping and I was not rather keen to end each visit in tears. So let me share one of the many deals I made with her... Little Miss sunshine was not very willing to go to her day care after her christmas break. She started complaing of a "fever in her stomach "and a "head ache in her Knees"...talk about being smart for her age...She only relented when we promised to take to Aldi once she finishes school and gets to buy what she wants...lols...

When little Miss Sunshine turned two, mealtimes were turning out to be battle times when there was a lot of tears, screaming and what not. Dear mom came to stay with us. She was distressed  witnessing the scenes which is when she advised us to be more calm and be a lot more enthusiastic. She calmly told us to pretend we were enjoying the best meal ever and simply ignore her.... Little Miss Sunshine was amazed at our change and calmly took her seat with us...I used Mom's techniques to attract her to the table... Presenting food in a restaurent style makes it appetizing for her....A simple dosa given in a thali plate with its condiments did wonders...Now she wants dosas only to eat in her steel plate.

Dear friends, do not feel bad if you cant give your baby a dj themed bithday party at a fine dining hotel or buy her the expensive gift you would have ideally wanted....It is your enthusiasm and sincerity you put in.... A lot of your baby's reactions are a reflection of yours... If you are genuinely happy , your baby will be...
It is your attitude which is seen in your baby's too....Letting your children know the pains you have taken is vital.....Especially in this world where everything is taken for granted way too easily.....

After all , " Attitude is a little thing that makes a big  difference - Winston Churchill".

 

Shoot me your thoughts....

Love
Chad

References

[1] http://www.123rf.com/photo_13430958_happy-baby-5-funny-cartoon-character-children-cover-book-design.html

Being the guardian angel

 

[1]

On becoming a parent, one of the thoughts which races across and embeds itself in you is that " I will protect you, my little one , no matter what". Speaking of which I want to share a heart warming incident with you, my dearest readers.

Scarlett was a mangy cat who lived in an abandoned garage in Brooklyn with her litter. The garage happened to catch fire and the fire extinguishers  were called to put it out. As one of the firefighters returned to the scene, he witnessed the most amazing scene ever. Scarlett, was carrying each of the kitten out of the garage herself and then was quickly racing back to get the next one. Her eyes were blistered shut, her facial hair was all gone and she was covered with burns. But this did not stop the mother from protecting her children!!!! [1][2]

Protecting your loved ones does not just mean being the security guard of your home, it also is a test to your listening skills. Have you ever wondered the what is the quality of keeper of your inner most secrets ? The reason why you keep going back to that person? It is the listening skills of that person. The maturity is another....Taking sides with you and never blaming you even once is the most crucial one of the lot. Even though for a minute we all knew who caused the trouble in the first place ..lols... This applies  to being a parent too...Don't you feel so...As someone wise once said, "if you dont have time to listen to the little things the baby comes up with,they stop telling you the bigger stuff when they grow up....
Dear Dad told me this alarming fact years ago when acclaimed director Kamal brought out the movie where  the  protagonist is a 14 year old girl who is constantly tortured by her step father without her mother's knowledge. The work of the director was recognized by the Indian Association of Pediatrics for earnestly spreading the strong message across. The fact was maximum children in the world were sexualy assualted by known people than outside forces and mostly when the parents were around and unaware!!!  If you want to protect your child, your child should feel the security you impart, trust you and confide in you, isn't it people????

Home is where the heartland is ....My paternal grandparents were stong advocates of love , passion and mutual respect. They had the most beautiful relation for 40 years where my grandmother talks of my grandfather with such fond it is hard to beleive he passed away 20 years ago. Dear granddad always supported respect and empowerment of women. Unless we have the genuine respect and regard for each other how will our children develop this?

 Last evening the better half and I were discussing  about the rising incidents  ofsexual assaults against  girls and as every concerned parent  we were listing the measures we should do to protect our little girl. This is when Anu stated that it is not only the daughters we should be concerned, but also sons as well....

In this big bad world where unacceptable events are taking a major chunk of the news and taking away our peace of mind, if you don't be the snarling doberman for the sanctity of the house , who will?

[4]

Shoot me your thoughts......

Love

Chad

References
[1]http://www.edinburghoutlook.co.uk/2012-01/caring/3756.aspx
[2]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_%28cat%29
[3] 100 Promises to my Baby- Mallika Chopra
[4]http://www.picturesof.net/pages/100722-158795-138053.html

Extending your capabilities

*

 When Little Miss Sunshine came into my life,our  focus towards life changed dramatically.  Her second birthday preparations became our brain storming days- her dress, the menu for the party, the guest list and most of all the day itself. When we started shopping around for the cake, we found out to our dismay the cake we had in our mind and the sky rocketed prices the bakers were charging were somehow so mismatched. This is when the better half and I decided that it was high time for me to extend my culinary skills , this time to cake decoration. He was kind enough to sponsor me for a class held by the cake decorating legend of my home town Rumana Jaseel of Incredible Art.
I expected an arrogant lady who was  was sure to be irritated with my rather fast learning capabiltilies..How I was wrong!!! I met a calm, composed and a down to earth person who was  totally in love with teaching  and creating the most beautiful cake art ever. Those few days I spend with Rumana was one of the best in my life where we made a beautiful bond of friendship and an extra ordinary cake for Ammu.



 Learning this art greatly enhanced my relation with the bubby and I was able to create nicer and personalised  presents for ,my loved ones. This christmas as  per Ammu's request I did a gingerbread house for the Bubbies at Ammu's daycare. This was one of the happiest moments of my life when I saw the excited looks on the little faces..

Many of my close friends have confided that they were not able to learn something they wanted badly....Who said so age was a barrier for all that? After all ,  ageing is not about seeing serials, baby sitting and praying 24/7. In this context I would like to share life experiences of three such people.
G was a work colleague  who was once baby sitting his granddaughter. They were both painting together. Mind you, G, then in his 60s had never painted his entire life. He suddenly realized that he simply had to paint and has been a part time artist ever since. This man is always in a frantic hurry to rush back home to paint. He recently held his first art exhibition when he was 69.
B, my neighbor was in mid 60s  when he retired. He never entered the kitchen in his entire life. Since his wife was still working he had the whole day to kill. He tried his hand in cooking one day and has never let his wife in the kitchen since then. He says he finds such joy and wonders why he didnt do it earlier....Lucky Mrs B:)
A famous doctor in my home town went to learn classical dancing in her late forties...Now she is an extremely busy dancer  giving stage performances besides her practice.

My dear friends, age is not a reason why you should not be doing what you want...Do not feel  that your child hood was deprived...Discover yourself...Do something for yourself..Finding inner satisfaction makes you and the people around happy too.... In fact this time my family and I tried our hand in Karaoke..What joy we had in yelling our head out...Not sure about the neighbors though....lols..

Dear Friends,make a list of at least 5 crazy things you simply MUST do and do try to accomplish at least one in the next coming months.....

As George Lucas quoted "Everybody has talent; it's just a matter of moving around until you've discovered what it is."

Love
Chad
*courtesy:http://www.profiletree.com/blogs/inspirational-quotes-to-help-identify-your-skills-and-talent

Acknowledgement

Seven good years ago, it was a cold winter night when I landed in the second windiest city in the wold- Melbourne. The first few days were just marvelous....it was just total freedom and I could do what I like, do what I want, eat out to my heart's content, spend Dad's money and what not. This slowly started fading away and loneliness began to creep in...I began to yearn for home where things I used to take for granted was becoming a treasure to me...mom's cooking, dad's concerned words....Most of all I used to miss the mischievous evenings when my sis and I used to take the car out, go for a round to Marine Drive,return back to dress in our pajamas to pretend nothing ever happened when dad and mom came down after their siesta...lols.

Even though as a student, life was great I started realizing a simple fact.Simply telling the other person you love her ( not those flirting days :) mind you) is difficult for most of us...Once I was having a discussion with a friend at work. I told him he is so lucky...He has a great mom and a beautiful girlfriend and that they are both here in Sydney...He confided that both mean the world to him. I asked him whether he could just go and tell mom he loves her and hug her. He then told me he is too shy and more ever Dad might get jealous...lols...

Acknowledgment becomes truly meaningful when the better half joins you for life..especially he made you a cup of tea...bathed your baby..hugged you when you had your scariest nightmares and told you its ok...There there I'm starting to sound like an old romantic of the black and white movies...But seriously its these little things which happens to become the big things later on....

I 'm sure that most of you must have felt at some point in life when you moved out of your parent's home...Other than your own parents and a handful of friends, noone really acknowledges or is truly happy when you are in the top of the world. Majority of the people find joy  and back stab when you have some sort of crisis in  life.

This fact is sure to hit you with real force at some stage in life, but the way each of us react is different. This is when the better half and I came to the decision of raising little miss sunshine with the fullest support and encouragement for every positive and creative thing she comes up with.A wise mom whom I knew for years gave her newly married daughter a thought provoking advice: Ignore those people who's always talking behind your back. That is where they belong, just behind your back.



Speaking of which, I would to share an eye opening experience with you. Recently when I was chatting with a friend on the phone. While I was doing so, Little Miss Sunshine came running up to me to show a crayon scribble she did with the widest smile drawn across her face. I gave a an absolute look of astonishment (partly so that I could still yap away peacefully without annoying her :;) and complimented her saying she did the best job ever. My friend on the other line asked me why was I encouraging her so much  and what was the need. She said that was enough for Ammu to draw a few more pages...

When I discussed this incident with the in house adviser Anu and eventually raised question- Are we doing the right step of encouraging Ammu for every little thing she does? Will she be a disappointed person when she stretches her wings to discover the big bad world on her own?
He had no answer for that...

What do you feel , my dearest audience? Shoot a line...

Love
Chad

Upholding Trust

 

As Mallika Chopra, from 100 promises to my baby rightly pointed out, we as parents should be honored and privileged that baby has put in the complete trust in us from day 1 and it is our duty to uphold it. Sometimes it is terrifying and overwhelming... but most of the time it is rewarding. ,.....especially when she gave you the first smile, then squeals of laughter and gurgle. Don't you look with wonder at God's mystical creations? In fact , I was frightened when she was in the womb itself, each time she didn't move and the frantic rushes to the hospital .. when she had her first stranger anxiety...when she was scared of the pressure cooker whistles when she was over 3 months old.Withholding the trust gives baby the sense of security and the courage needed to survive in the big bad world .

                                                                                                                                                               courtesy:http://www.my2fun.com

This is when I think about of the orphaned bubs. Imagine being that  baby who has lost the complete trust.
Is 'nt that why they are insecure and majority of the time so lovable. I feel the pain for the parents who simply had to give up the baby because that was the only choice they had.

Don't you still love feel being Daddy's little girl  or Mama's little boy because they as parents instilled the feeling in you they are there no matter what?


When I think about this , I sometimes feel we also have another duty of upholding trust,  this time to our parents. As they get older and weaker, they are in fact becoming like babies in some ways...insecure and dependent. Shouldn't we be protecting them too when something which is not right is happening? Or should we just keep mum and let God handle it himself? This is a situation  I am noticing each time I am peering into our society where relatives and others looting elderly people....

Shoot me your thoughts......


Chad

Setting up home, baby and yourself for toilet training

Toilet Training does not happen all of a sudden. A lot of factors contribute to a successful routine for the bubby.
First and the most important important condition is to create a stress free important. As rightly pointed out Ammu's pediatrician, it is extremely important parents are free from any stress and commitments. Accepting the child for what she is crucial. Kids get trained anywhere between 1 year and 5 years. Keep trying.

Ensuring the general diet of the baby is full of wholesome and fiber rich  makes toilet training easier. Make sure she is hydrated well. As mom's wisdom , giving her a glass of warm water after each meal as well as before going to bed induces movements. Give her lots of fruits and salads.

Buy 2-3 packs of undies and prepare yourself for the clean ups and extra laundries. Training pants are great when you are on the move. Don't dress her on tight clothing . Use clothes that are easy to remove during accidents.

Getting a baby toilet seat and stool for her to climb up and sit in the toilet ensures a smooth transitioning from the nappies to the toilet. I am not a fan of potties as I feel it is better for her to encounter one change rather than two  i.e.from the nappy to the potty and then from potty to toilet.  Stools also help the baby the support when  she trying to poo.

Poo training sometimes more difficult than wee wee training. Bubby will cry and beg you for a nappy. If patience has not run out for the day, simply tell her the nappy is yucky and creates a lot of mess. When we were in this stage, Ammu's early child hood teacher simply pointed out a little fact, the pooh is not going to stay inside her forever, it will come out  in a day or 5 days. Simple hydrate well and give her a fibre rich food .Ammu  was constipated for 3 days, but when she did it first, she and I were so thrilled:)

Having bubby to sit on the toilet for more than 5 minutes is challenging. I was a witness to that. Little ray of sunshine was terrified of falling into the water. Boredom was another cause as her chores of rearranging the house, watching TV was interrupted. Having some toys or activities during this time is great. Ammu loved reading books and playing video games thus reducing her fright considerably.

It is also important to reap the benefits your great work during traveling. Having a potty seat with you ensures you can use the adult public toilets as well as creating a familiar a familiar environment. Sometimes when you are on the road, there may nor be toilets for miles. Training pants is great during this time.

Giving bubby rewards and lots of praise ensures the experience is joyful. Giving her praise for trying creates motivation. Giving her a sticker each time, for something successful make it rewarding. Finally promise her a toy of her choice on the day she and you feel, the task is achieved. Treating yourself is also great, because you were the teacher in the first place..lols. A kudos to your training skills.

Chad