Being the guardian angel

 

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On becoming a parent, one of the thoughts which races across and embeds itself in you is that " I will protect you, my little one , no matter what". Speaking of which I want to share a heart warming incident with you, my dearest readers.

Scarlett was a mangy cat who lived in an abandoned garage in Brooklyn with her litter. The garage happened to catch fire and the fire extinguishers  were called to put it out. As one of the firefighters returned to the scene, he witnessed the most amazing scene ever. Scarlett, was carrying each of the kitten out of the garage herself and then was quickly racing back to get the next one. Her eyes were blistered shut, her facial hair was all gone and she was covered with burns. But this did not stop the mother from protecting her children!!!! [1][2]

Protecting your loved ones does not just mean being the security guard of your home, it also is a test to your listening skills. Have you ever wondered the what is the quality of keeper of your inner most secrets ? The reason why you keep going back to that person? It is the listening skills of that person. The maturity is another....Taking sides with you and never blaming you even once is the most crucial one of the lot. Even though for a minute we all knew who caused the trouble in the first place ..lols... This applies  to being a parent too...Don't you feel so...As someone wise once said, "if you dont have time to listen to the little things the baby comes up with,they stop telling you the bigger stuff when they grow up....
Dear Dad told me this alarming fact years ago when acclaimed director Kamal brought out the movie where  the  protagonist is a 14 year old girl who is constantly tortured by her step father without her mother's knowledge. The work of the director was recognized by the Indian Association of Pediatrics for earnestly spreading the strong message across. The fact was maximum children in the world were sexualy assualted by known people than outside forces and mostly when the parents were around and unaware!!!  If you want to protect your child, your child should feel the security you impart, trust you and confide in you, isn't it people????

Home is where the heartland is ....My paternal grandparents were stong advocates of love , passion and mutual respect. They had the most beautiful relation for 40 years where my grandmother talks of my grandfather with such fond it is hard to beleive he passed away 20 years ago. Dear granddad always supported respect and empowerment of women. Unless we have the genuine respect and regard for each other how will our children develop this?

 Last evening the better half and I were discussing  about the rising incidents  ofsexual assaults against  girls and as every concerned parent  we were listing the measures we should do to protect our little girl. This is when Anu stated that it is not only the daughters we should be concerned, but also sons as well....

In this big bad world where unacceptable events are taking a major chunk of the news and taking away our peace of mind, if you don't be the snarling doberman for the sanctity of the house , who will?

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Shoot me your thoughts......

Love

Chad

References
[1]http://www.edinburghoutlook.co.uk/2012-01/caring/3756.aspx
[2]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_%28cat%29
[3] 100 Promises to my Baby- Mallika Chopra
[4]http://www.picturesof.net/pages/100722-158795-138053.html

Extending your capabilities

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 When Little Miss Sunshine came into my life,our  focus towards life changed dramatically.  Her second birthday preparations became our brain storming days- her dress, the menu for the party, the guest list and most of all the day itself. When we started shopping around for the cake, we found out to our dismay the cake we had in our mind and the sky rocketed prices the bakers were charging were somehow so mismatched. This is when the better half and I decided that it was high time for me to extend my culinary skills , this time to cake decoration. He was kind enough to sponsor me for a class held by the cake decorating legend of my home town Rumana Jaseel of Incredible Art.
I expected an arrogant lady who was  was sure to be irritated with my rather fast learning capabiltilies..How I was wrong!!! I met a calm, composed and a down to earth person who was  totally in love with teaching  and creating the most beautiful cake art ever. Those few days I spend with Rumana was one of the best in my life where we made a beautiful bond of friendship and an extra ordinary cake for Ammu.



 Learning this art greatly enhanced my relation with the bubby and I was able to create nicer and personalised  presents for ,my loved ones. This christmas as  per Ammu's request I did a gingerbread house for the Bubbies at Ammu's daycare. This was one of the happiest moments of my life when I saw the excited looks on the little faces..

Many of my close friends have confided that they were not able to learn something they wanted badly....Who said so age was a barrier for all that? After all ,  ageing is not about seeing serials, baby sitting and praying 24/7. In this context I would like to share life experiences of three such people.
G was a work colleague  who was once baby sitting his granddaughter. They were both painting together. Mind you, G, then in his 60s had never painted his entire life. He suddenly realized that he simply had to paint and has been a part time artist ever since. This man is always in a frantic hurry to rush back home to paint. He recently held his first art exhibition when he was 69.
B, my neighbor was in mid 60s  when he retired. He never entered the kitchen in his entire life. Since his wife was still working he had the whole day to kill. He tried his hand in cooking one day and has never let his wife in the kitchen since then. He says he finds such joy and wonders why he didnt do it earlier....Lucky Mrs B:)
A famous doctor in my home town went to learn classical dancing in her late forties...Now she is an extremely busy dancer  giving stage performances besides her practice.

My dear friends, age is not a reason why you should not be doing what you want...Do not feel  that your child hood was deprived...Discover yourself...Do something for yourself..Finding inner satisfaction makes you and the people around happy too.... In fact this time my family and I tried our hand in Karaoke..What joy we had in yelling our head out...Not sure about the neighbors though....lols..

Dear Friends,make a list of at least 5 crazy things you simply MUST do and do try to accomplish at least one in the next coming months.....

As George Lucas quoted "Everybody has talent; it's just a matter of moving around until you've discovered what it is."

Love
Chad
*courtesy:http://www.profiletree.com/blogs/inspirational-quotes-to-help-identify-your-skills-and-talent

Acknowledgement

Seven good years ago, it was a cold winter night when I landed in the second windiest city in the wold- Melbourne. The first few days were just marvelous....it was just total freedom and I could do what I like, do what I want, eat out to my heart's content, spend Dad's money and what not. This slowly started fading away and loneliness began to creep in...I began to yearn for home where things I used to take for granted was becoming a treasure to me...mom's cooking, dad's concerned words....Most of all I used to miss the mischievous evenings when my sis and I used to take the car out, go for a round to Marine Drive,return back to dress in our pajamas to pretend nothing ever happened when dad and mom came down after their siesta...lols.

Even though as a student, life was great I started realizing a simple fact.Simply telling the other person you love her ( not those flirting days :) mind you) is difficult for most of us...Once I was having a discussion with a friend at work. I told him he is so lucky...He has a great mom and a beautiful girlfriend and that they are both here in Sydney...He confided that both mean the world to him. I asked him whether he could just go and tell mom he loves her and hug her. He then told me he is too shy and more ever Dad might get jealous...lols...

Acknowledgment becomes truly meaningful when the better half joins you for life..especially he made you a cup of tea...bathed your baby..hugged you when you had your scariest nightmares and told you its ok...There there I'm starting to sound like an old romantic of the black and white movies...But seriously its these little things which happens to become the big things later on....

I 'm sure that most of you must have felt at some point in life when you moved out of your parent's home...Other than your own parents and a handful of friends, noone really acknowledges or is truly happy when you are in the top of the world. Majority of the people find joy  and back stab when you have some sort of crisis in  life.

This fact is sure to hit you with real force at some stage in life, but the way each of us react is different. This is when the better half and I came to the decision of raising little miss sunshine with the fullest support and encouragement for every positive and creative thing she comes up with.A wise mom whom I knew for years gave her newly married daughter a thought provoking advice: Ignore those people who's always talking behind your back. That is where they belong, just behind your back.



Speaking of which, I would to share an eye opening experience with you. Recently when I was chatting with a friend on the phone. While I was doing so, Little Miss Sunshine came running up to me to show a crayon scribble she did with the widest smile drawn across her face. I gave a an absolute look of astonishment (partly so that I could still yap away peacefully without annoying her :;) and complimented her saying she did the best job ever. My friend on the other line asked me why was I encouraging her so much  and what was the need. She said that was enough for Ammu to draw a few more pages...

When I discussed this incident with the in house adviser Anu and eventually raised question- Are we doing the right step of encouraging Ammu for every little thing she does? Will she be a disappointed person when she stretches her wings to discover the big bad world on her own?
He had no answer for that...

What do you feel , my dearest audience? Shoot a line...

Love
Chad

Upholding Trust

 

As Mallika Chopra, from 100 promises to my baby rightly pointed out, we as parents should be honored and privileged that baby has put in the complete trust in us from day 1 and it is our duty to uphold it. Sometimes it is terrifying and overwhelming... but most of the time it is rewarding. ,.....especially when she gave you the first smile, then squeals of laughter and gurgle. Don't you look with wonder at God's mystical creations? In fact , I was frightened when she was in the womb itself, each time she didn't move and the frantic rushes to the hospital .. when she had her first stranger anxiety...when she was scared of the pressure cooker whistles when she was over 3 months old.Withholding the trust gives baby the sense of security and the courage needed to survive in the big bad world .

                                                                                                                                                               courtesy:http://www.my2fun.com

This is when I think about of the orphaned bubs. Imagine being that  baby who has lost the complete trust.
Is 'nt that why they are insecure and majority of the time so lovable. I feel the pain for the parents who simply had to give up the baby because that was the only choice they had.

Don't you still love feel being Daddy's little girl  or Mama's little boy because they as parents instilled the feeling in you they are there no matter what?


When I think about this , I sometimes feel we also have another duty of upholding trust,  this time to our parents. As they get older and weaker, they are in fact becoming like babies in some ways...insecure and dependent. Shouldn't we be protecting them too when something which is not right is happening? Or should we just keep mum and let God handle it himself? This is a situation  I am noticing each time I am peering into our society where relatives and others looting elderly people....

Shoot me your thoughts......


Chad

Setting up home, baby and yourself for toilet training

Toilet Training does not happen all of a sudden. A lot of factors contribute to a successful routine for the bubby.
First and the most important important condition is to create a stress free important. As rightly pointed out Ammu's pediatrician, it is extremely important parents are free from any stress and commitments. Accepting the child for what she is crucial. Kids get trained anywhere between 1 year and 5 years. Keep trying.

Ensuring the general diet of the baby is full of wholesome and fiber rich  makes toilet training easier. Make sure she is hydrated well. As mom's wisdom , giving her a glass of warm water after each meal as well as before going to bed induces movements. Give her lots of fruits and salads.

Buy 2-3 packs of undies and prepare yourself for the clean ups and extra laundries. Training pants are great when you are on the move. Don't dress her on tight clothing . Use clothes that are easy to remove during accidents.

Getting a baby toilet seat and stool for her to climb up and sit in the toilet ensures a smooth transitioning from the nappies to the toilet. I am not a fan of potties as I feel it is better for her to encounter one change rather than two  i.e.from the nappy to the potty and then from potty to toilet.  Stools also help the baby the support when  she trying to poo.

Poo training sometimes more difficult than wee wee training. Bubby will cry and beg you for a nappy. If patience has not run out for the day, simply tell her the nappy is yucky and creates a lot of mess. When we were in this stage, Ammu's early child hood teacher simply pointed out a little fact, the pooh is not going to stay inside her forever, it will come out  in a day or 5 days. Simple hydrate well and give her a fibre rich food .Ammu  was constipated for 3 days, but when she did it first, she and I were so thrilled:)

Having bubby to sit on the toilet for more than 5 minutes is challenging. I was a witness to that. Little ray of sunshine was terrified of falling into the water. Boredom was another cause as her chores of rearranging the house, watching TV was interrupted. Having some toys or activities during this time is great. Ammu loved reading books and playing video games thus reducing her fright considerably.

It is also important to reap the benefits your great work during traveling. Having a potty seat with you ensures you can use the adult public toilets as well as creating a familiar a familiar environment. Sometimes when you are on the road, there may nor be toilets for miles. Training pants is great during this time.

Giving bubby rewards and lots of praise ensures the experience is joyful. Giving her praise for trying creates motivation. Giving her a sticker each time, for something successful make it rewarding. Finally promise her a toy of her choice on the day she and you feel, the task is achieved. Treating yourself is also great, because you were the teacher in the first place..lols. A kudos to your training skills.

Chad

Toilet Training- Realizations

As the toilet training is going on in full swing , there were some interesting realizations I had about  Miss little sunshine and me:)

The most important one in the list was faith in your child. What I realized over time was that in fact from the day she arrived was that each  baby is different. They have  their own personality which was always there from the time she was in the womb. They have their own speed of learning and in fact their own style as well. Acknowledging that , giving them ample time to pick up a new skill makes life as parent and a child more rewarding and contentment. Pressurizing bubby  does not lead you anywhere except for the fact she will be scared to take risks and becoming nervous to try out new ventures. As a parent you become more stressed out depriving you the last drop your peace of mind you had in the first place.

There will be many a time when you will  will be blamed as parent, by loved ones and of course the people around. In fact I  received  remarks from a lot of people regarding my inability to toilet train the little brat. It did make me nervous for a while, but duly acknowledged the parent for the good job she had done for her child.  Simply believe in your child it will happen and sit back to enjoy life.

I remember as a child I was one of the slowest in the class. It took me ages to grasp that A was A, B was B .....In fact I could not hold my pencil correctly and used to be in tears everyday. I used to dread going to school as I got a beating on the knuckle with the wooden scale everyday.  My rank was 27/28 in class....so 2nd rank from behind lols...My ever beautiful mom never blamed me even once , though I can bet with at most with 100 percent confidence that she was nervous to her skin's wit why was I different from other kids. But it was her faith in me , her confidence and extremely innovative ways of teach me without ever taking the cane that I am still fortunate to do a PhD today. I do have to admit that I'm still slow at grasping new concepts unlike my counterparts. So if I were like this , how could I expect my child to pick up on hour's notice? In fact patience, lots of compliments and rewards are the key for teaching your little one anything you want. Failures are bound to happens. Simply ackowledge her and just tell her to move on...

What do you say?

Chad

Toilet Training the little ray of sunshine- the story

 

Toilet Training-an important milestone in your life and your baby's life....
The perks- Both your confidence and the bub's confidence soars up to a new height, Good bye nappies..off you go...a sense of self esteem and the list goes on...
The downside: Could be a little stressful till the first drops of pee actually go into the loo as well as the clean ups during accidents....
When to start: The story begins here people:)

I am not saying it was an absolute breeze for the mini person and me...Infact we did have a lot of times  where we failed miserably and thought we were not capable of this milestone.

 We tried the first time back when she just turned one. This was when we went to our homeland for a vacation. The babies there were squatting away and doing it beautifully. As advised by the grandparents, we tried to do so in the tub,on the potty ,but was not happening....The better half reasoned that it was too early for her and maybe put off for the following summer. Moreover  babies back there were on cloth nappies during daytime. This gave them a sense of wetness when they peed into the nappies and thus got a better sense of control over time. In our case was that it just the better half, me and she. We were both working full time and simply didnt have another pair of helping hands for the clean ups....

The next summer when she turned two we tried again...We meticulously tried again. Ammu at this stage was ready to go to the toilet, clean up, flush and get back...there was one problem here....She only peed and pooed after she had her undies on...poor baby and poor parents...we gave up after 10 days... The better half who works as a full time paeds doc other than a dad reasoned that she hasn't understood the concept as yet. But this time we happily gave up and she was back in the diapers....

This summer we were more prepared... Ammu was back in her undies last saturday and we watched a couple of videos on youtube. We set the timer for every 20 minutes whereby she had to go and sit in the toilet.  She was terrified and was all teary....I bribed her by giving little rewards only for going and sitting there. I  treated her by giving her the cake sprinkles wrapped in the patty case. I promised her to reward her a lolly if she were to urine. Smarty pants was back saying she peed...but alas forgot that Mama had studied chemistry in school...I put in a drop of red food colouring ( credited to a great mom in baby central) which would then turn orange if she were to urine... Believe me  nothing happened that 6 hours when she was in the undies...But as soon as she put in her nappies ...she filled it up in less than an hour...

This weekend on saturday, we took her nappies...Missy tried again ...but nothing was happening..cleaning ,flushing washing all was going on meticulously..And guess what we heard some sound and the water was ORANGE....ooo we were so happy...we congratulated and hugged her and she was over the top of the world....listen here...she would not poo..crying and terrified and what not...we decided we would wait.....
She was great ..she just had an accident once in a while..We decided we would try out the night time training too.....
On night 1 , before going to bed we asked her to try to pee. She couldnt and hence wet the bed , herself and the dad at 4:30 am...She was way too upset and didnt sleep that  night.
On Night 2, at around 3:00am I woke her up and took her to the toilet. She did her wee, but was upset and cried for 2 hours...Better half thought it was not a good idea as it becomes a habit for her to wee at that time every night.
On Night 3, we decided to go for mom's psychological approach..Put a plastic sheet and let her wee and get wet. At one stage she would just stop. So we did that ...but with a twist..we put her undies on , as well as a training pants over...
The good news is that she still feels wet and I don't have to change the sheets at night.....

Story Continues ;)

Chad

Instilling confidence

One of the important realizations I made when I became a Mom to Ammu....Is praising such an expensive affair? Is it creating a hole in our pocket? So then what is the problem? We love hearing a good word from our boss, neighbors and even passerby...Imagine going to work everyday..same old routine same old people ,no response from anyone, no smile no acknowledgement..How would you feel? Happy or despondent? Content or disappointed? Motivated or lethargic? Most of all...confident or deflated?

In our culture or specifically from my homeland I have come across an interesting observation. The elders don't acknowledge our merits rather concentrate on criticism-constructive or destructive..goes in either way. Their belief is is that this is for improvement...But in a way as we grow as adults..are we that confident person  we wanted to be? Aware of our capabilities rather than our disabilities?

No Folks, I am not dissecting the people personalities...I have come across other people too who can find positive aspects to even the most depressing aspects of life...Some of the people I have to truly acknowledge at this point in my life is dad , my reiki teacher, the better half and of course miss little sunshine Ammu. Dear dad will make passing a learners driving test sound like passing a medical final exam...

I realized this when I was talking to my cousin who was pregnant and raised this question? When do you praise a baby? Well my answer to that was Day 1 itself as soon as baby is out. Babies are extremely clever little people.They can sense the positive and negative vibes straight away. In fact patting her when she has nursed or burped well, telling her she is the best ever...If you dont tell her who else will? Arent you doing the noble duty of instilling the first step of confidence?

Chad