Thursday 3 November 2016

The beauty of uncertainty – Part 2


Dear Mol,

There was once a great Physicist named Heisenberg. He formulated one of the greatest laws of Physics called the uncertainty principle. These were his words “It is impossible to predict both the position and velocity of a particle with absolute certainty at any given time”. Mol, let me put this statement in front you in life’s terms. Can you predict with absolute accuracy where you will be and what you will be doing in 10 years’ time? Or can you tell me the same in a weeks’ time?
No One knows….


Mol, at some stage in life, you might decide that you need more company and that is when beautiful little miniatures of You come along called children..
Once these tiny little creatures come along to test every skill that resides inside you, this is what I wish to remind you
  1. The day your children are born,is  the day you as a parent is also born. This is the day you need to reassure yourself “If I could cruise through the uncertain world of marriage, then I can cruise through the uncertain world of parenting.
  2. You will be bombarded with lots and lots of free advice and criticisms. This is when you will need to develop the art of turning on the deaf ear.
  3. You will discover you are a boundless source of pure and blissful love. I need to admit that I was scared of having Baby. I was under an impression that once Baby arrives my love towards you will be halved and was plagued with guilt. But hell no, I only came to know I had so much of hidden love in me.

  4. Teach your children gratitude. Make them understand that whatever you do is only out of love and not duty. All you need in return as a fee is gratitude. The day they learn is the day you have succeeded as a parent.
  5. Practice self-compassion. Nature is funny. She will hand you out hard horrible days from time to time. You might make mistakes and feel regretful. It’s ok. You don’t have to beat yourself to a pulp. Console yourself and say kind words to your self as you might do to your best friend. Move on…
  6. Every day is a new chance …a  new beginning. Start afresh leaving the past behind
  7. Saying sorry to your babies is the greatest sign of courage when you are wrong. You won’t believe the respect you get in return.
  8. Every child is beautiful in its own way. If you observe closely no two children of yours will be the same.
  9. The first time you become a parent you will feel overwhelmed and will have the dire need to do everything perfectly coupled with a certain degree of anxiety. The subsequent times you will feel more experienced and confident. This reflects deeply on your children. The first one will be responsible and anxious while the last ones will be more confident and stress free.
  10. Parenting is not a power struggle drama. But is a school where everyone is learning and constantly upskilling.
  11. Have heart-warming conversations. Play role reversal games with kiddos regularly. You will get a good picture about how you carry yourself in front of them and discover alternate ways of dealing with issues.
  12. Allow your children to be bored. Remember it is not your duty to fill up all their free time. Are you going to be around the rest of their lifetime doing that? You are in fact doing a favour of inculcating time management.
  13. Involve your children in little day to day problems apt for their age. This is when they learn to live happily in this imperfect world working through challenges.
  14. Always reward them for the efforts and not the outcome. If it is the other way around they will be wary to take up new challenges and feel that they were never good enough.
  15. Share your childhood memories with them. Take them to your favourite places of your child hood. It simply deepens sense of belonging and family connections
  16. As you daddy always says your children will be a subject to unfair criticisms sometimes. Remember they have no one else other than you to stand up for them

I would like to share a little incident that I keep it close to my heart.

You were 2 days old. Daddy, you and me were in the hospital. It was 1am in the morning. You were sleepy. Daddy decided he wanted to have some quality baby bonding time and wanted to do some photoshoot. You had no choice but to succumb to our crazy idea. We took some pictures. 15 minutes later we decided to go back to sleep.
But you were wide awake and decided none of us were sleeping that night. The next morning we all howled together.
Years down the lane we still laugh at our silliness…

Your second day photoshoot at 1am in the morning


Parenting is an enchanting fairy-tale which can be only lived once…..
Wish you all the more happiness
Mummy




4 comments:

  1. Allow your children to be bored 👍I think boredom will create innovation or creativity

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  2. Nicely written. New points to think about though I am past that age. : )

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  3. As always nicely written. I like ammus naughty face photo. so cute.

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  4. Very insightful for parents. Good writing Chandni

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