Happy Birthday Me!!!

Two years ago on this very same day, I felt the world closing on me and really felt life was worthless. Despite the cheerful people who called me, despite the birthday cake and the surprises…despite the 4 degrees I had earned..... What is the point when you have it all when you feel you have nothing at all…

It was the worst period of my life. I only blamed myself throughout. I learnt a few things on the way while I was busy mending me.

1. True love is a different story…
2. True love is not about giving roses on special days but making life rosier than ever
3. True love is not about making you in happier in your happy days but helping you to pick up and get up in your sadder days
4. True love is not professing love and writing letters but helping you to find out the real meaning about self worth and self respect.
5. True love is not about celebrating your achievement but supporting you with the kind reassuring words when you feel there is nothing to look forward to.
6. True love is not about charting out a fairy tale ending but really making absolute peace with the past.
7. True love is not discovering places together but helping you to discover the better you.

I never felt a sense of achievement when I earned the most difficult and challenging degree of my life- Master of Research engineering in Nov 2014. Today when I look back, I feel I have achieved not another Engineering degree , but a degree to face life with self worth and self assurance.

I have been talking lately a lot about self respect and self care. To mark my 34^th year around, this is something I have come up with to gift me…

Love Chad

Centre of the universe

Dear Mol

 “What if the sun stopped shining when you got up one morning?”

Upon coming to Australia, I began to miss my mother’s soothing voice, my dad’s reassurance and my sister’s laughter. I was indeed very lonely. This was when Daddy , you and Baby came along.

Being brought up innocently, I mistook the people I came across as my own family. How wrong was I!! I learnt it the very hard way!! I met a lot of wrong people when you came along. My feeling of inadequacy soared and I thought something was seriously wrong with me.

My dear Mol, there was nothing wrong with me, this was an indication that time had come to re-examine myself. It was time for me to assess my self-worth and take radical steps to raise my self-esteem.                                                                                                                                                                                              

Mol at some stage in your life you will learn about the universe. The sun is the centre and the master of the universe. All the others simply revolve around it. Remember you are the supreme power in your life. This is a lesson I learnt late in life and have been actively practicing the following to keep me sane!!

1. Competing with yourself is the hardest and most fulfilling. Winning ===radical improvement in life.
2. Find time daily to do the things which unwinds you. It could be reading , smelling a flower to trying something new.
3. Finish up the chores which least motivates you in the early part of the day. This means you have rest of the day to enjoy!!
4. You don’t have to answer every question imposed on you by others. Some questions are the best unanswered.
5. Do not allow every Tom Dick and Harry to come into your private space. Turn them off gently. If they don’t get it, tell them off firmly.
6. Find time for your passions. Saying you don’t have time is just an excuse.
7. Keep a list of people whose character you admire. Replicating what you can, is a good beginning.
8. Forgive , but do not forget. It is a pain to mess with the same people for the same reasons.
9. Caring and protecting yourself is not selfishness, but being kind to yourself.
10.  For each aim you have succeeded, reward yourself. Rewards are not just for little children and people at work. Everyone needs motivation.
11.  Make peace with your past. The day you do that will mean you have removed a hard wall from your life and you have moved forward.
12. Brooding over your past and mistakes leads you nowhere. Mistake means it was an option which didn’t work well for the situation. After all experience is the best teacher!!
13. Keep a dedicated time for social media. Place your phone in the room farthest to you, when you are in bed.
14. Own a happy diary to jot down the events of your life that made it worth living. In your not very good days, this is the best booster which reminds of the great person you are!!! This great little book is a keeper.
15. Write everyday 5 sentences what you feel the luckiest about. The first should be, you woke up alive.

Mol, the richest and the luckiest man is that super soul who can fall asleep with a smiling face.

Love

 Mummy

Joy of small things

Dear Mol,

When I was in school, there was a concept “Thought of the week.” Little did I know, this will add a meaning to my life till Baby and you came along. Like everyone my childhood days are closely held to my heart, not because of the house I grew up in, but because of the people who touched my heart some way or the other. These are some of the moments I wish to share with you.

1. Playing hide and seek with Ammama who had Baby Sanju on the hip
2. Laughing aloud with Achacha, Ammama and Sanju in the lift when realized that we were there for a while, forgetting to press the button.
3. Jumping on the muddy puddles with Sanju on the road.
4. Sneaking up to the terrace with Sanjan to eat mangoes from the neighbour’s garden.
5. Waking up to hear Gee’s beautiful playing of the Veena on Sunday mornings
6. Enjoying Mootha Ammama’s shy face, when daddy placed a piece of fish into Mummy mouth during our dating days.

My dear Mol, life’s greatest moments don’t cost a dime, but is worth a million dollars. We always feel childhood is a period we wish to go back to.

I have begun to change that concept. Sometimes due to changing priorities like marriage and career, the things we enjoyed take a backseat. You have taught me it is possible to awaken the child in me. Child is indeed the mother of mankind.

I love the adrenaline pumping away when:

1. Swinging in the park with you, the wind breathing on my face and laughing uncontrollably.
2. Singing at the top of my not very gifted voice while having you and baby mesmerised.
3. Having a running race with you to see who reaches the shady tree first
4. Playing, where you are the mummy while daddy and I am your babies.
5. Hiding under the sheets with you when daddy comes back from work to scream ‘BOWWOW’
6. Waiting to hear you squeal, when we take you for your surprise party in the park.
7. Swimming in a lake with you, without knowing its depth.

I have learned that children are indeed bundles of joy. They are only there for a very short period of your life until they move from the nest to start their lives. Enjoy them when they are with you. Nothing last forever.

Every moment in life is like a train stopping at the station. It is only there for a moment before it moves on.

Dear Mol, thank you a million times for enriching me with the beautiful moments you shower upon me.

Love

Mummy

PS: Many thanks to our inhouse photographer Deeps for allowing me to use her UK pictures

A letter to my daughter which I wish her to read some day

 

Dear Mol

This is  a letter I wish to read to you at some stage for the choices I took for you.

Parenting is an  evolving process. Its priorities are always changing although the botton line is the same –happiness. When your grandma was raised, the main aim was her to be a good wife. Education took a backseat. When I was raised, grandma prepared me to become a good wife besides giving me an exceptional education. My parents were courageous to send me to Australia unmarried. They let me go to explore the world on my own…How I was in for a few surprises in the real world!!!

When you came into my life, as a mum, I decided that I am going to embed you the skill set to face the world with courage and pluck, besides educating you ….

From my life events and the people I have admired , this is what I wish to tell you.

1. Be blissful of your body. You own it. No one has the right to take that away
2. Be wary of strangers. The world has a good mix of nice and not nice people.
3. Wherever you go, there will be a ‘someone’ to mess your day. Let them screw theirs and not yours.
4. Look after yourself. People will feel a moment’s sympathy but not your pain.
5.  Happiness comes in small and big packets. You, daddy and baby were them!!!!
6. If you are happy with yourself, you have learnt the greatest trick of the trade.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes to everything burns you out eventually.
8. Keep promises which you are sure fulfill. This is less distressful and more peaceful.
9.  Honesty is still valued. We want you to tell us the good and the not very good events of your life.
10. Food on the table did not appear out of the blue. Someone actually took the car out, shopped, cleaned and cooked it for you.
11. Like you, mummy and daddy also get tired. We also slow down.
12. Helping out gets the boat going. Proactiveness is appreciated everywhere.
13. We appreciate every good little things you do. That is what a pat in the back and compliments are for. We also like that in return!!!
14. The not very good things need corrections. We believe in second chances.
15. We hand you out rewards because we are happy with the choices you made. Likewise we painfully hand out penalties for the sad choices you took.
16. We discuss if something upsets you. We try to make such events less frequent and live life more fruitfully.
17. Mummy and daddy are not rich. We promise to keep you well fed, well-groomed and well educated. The rest of it will be considered seriously .
18. All members have equal gastronomical importance. Mummy may not be able to fulfil all your needs at once.. You will all have your turn, that includes daddy.
19. Education =====respect. Mummy will teach you something new everyday. It could range from swimming to photosynthesis to baking cookies... Self-sufficiency and ability to acquire new skills are looked in any role you wish to take up in future.
20. Nature is beautiful. Enjoy the fresh air, birds singing and flowers blooming. It has a happy effect.
21. Take each experience as a learning curve. Try something new. Every day is a self-discovery day. You are still not aware of all your capabilities.
22. Mummy and daddy also make mistakes not because we did it on purpose. But because we were born as parents the day you were born to us. We are learning too!! Forgive us!!
23. We are an old fashioned family. We love the magic words "thank you, sorry and please". Thank you means you acknowledge, Sorry means repent and Please means humbleness.
24. Let creativity and imagination fill your life. Mummy enjoys going into the magical world of Elsa and Anna, Cinderella and handsome prince and of course Care bears with you....You bring out the child in me.
25. Finally no one loves you more than your family. Mummy and daddy does everything for you not because it is our duty, but because we simply love you!!

Dance in the rain
Taste the raindrops

Sing whilst you bathe

Paint away

Say stories in your magical voice
Fill everywhere with peals of your laughter

I adore you my baby like there is no tomorrow

Make every moment a dream come true

Happiness is contagious,

Spread it like wild Fire

Love

Mummy